| I'm doing wonderful. Don't you worry about me. Life is fantasic! I am fine. I appreciate everyone looking out for me but don't worry. I have everything under control. Love you Jess |
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| I have discovered something big. Passion. I'm talking about when you love something so much that you put all you have into it because it's worth it to you. That's how I feel about kids and being the best mom ever. that's how I feel about worship/singing/palying guitar for the Lord. And the thing is all these things are the reason I am in college. so ... why am I not passionate about college, about learning? I was so afraid of failure that it became me. And I descovered that the best things in my life were the things that I struggled with and that took sacrifices and endurance. So I am brand new now. I am so excited to learn. And if I have to work hard then so be it. Because I am more then a conquerer... and I have the creator of the universe telling me that I am an important part in His plan... and He has a plan for me... It kinda baffles me... I had not idea... "Good bye my fears. I feel that we have parted. Possibilities keep walking in on me." -Teddy Geiger- Jessica LaVonne here, full of passion |
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| I constantly contemplate the fact that I hate school and i hate homework and how horrible I am at it. I hate the fact that I'm the worst procrastinater ever and I haven't succeeded in conquoring this.
I have the deepest desire to learn about the things I love and I like some classes alot. However I do not enjoy having 6 different subjects to concentrate on at once. If I had one I would most definately get all A's and B's but since I have like 6 I can manage B's and C's. I'm not smart in school probably cus I hate it. I love the social aspect of it. My twin is so smart in maths and sciences and he can do so much with his hands and he's going to be a pilot and i love that. I want to learn everything there is to know about kids and anything that I can do with my hands. BUT I cannot do everything I can only focus on one thing at a time and my atttention span isn't the longest.
aaaarrggg.
I would love to have the knowledge of a doctor but I cannot work so hard. I really just want to be a mom the most. but I would also like to own a daycare, or a childrens library, build/create/fix things, play a bunch of instruments and sing... what is a girl to do? Everyone says I could do anything of I really wanted to but, what if I don't know what I really want, these dicisions effect alot more people then myself. How do i make that dicision? How do I make good grades withuot sacrificing my life, because I hate business and no social life. I live off of other people and time with Jesus I know that if I get too busy Jesus will slip away and I don't want that. I lost enough I can't lose any more. I want to do whats right and what I will enjoy, I know that's selfish but I've seen the pain of people with jobs they hate and they have to live with it cus it pays the bills. I want to pay the bills but enjoy doing that. I hate financial problems I have had them all my life and cannot get away from them. I refuse to suffer for the rest of my life. God always provides, this I know.
These are the troubles of Jessica LaVonne
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| Silliness. Just silliness. Boys and girls. Friends and siblings. I tell you what.
I don't want to focus right now but I know that I should.
Jesus come and rescue me.
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